Screwed.edu
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
