Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
