remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
