I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I forgot how hot balto sounded
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
