Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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