Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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