i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize