cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
