He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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