I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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