So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
