just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
