i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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