??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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