ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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