He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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