Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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