Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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