Non-Jews are for practice
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i believe in u and ur pee
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
