alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
