wrigley field is MILF paradise
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
