I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
this is an emotional support booty call
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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