I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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