I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
