dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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