he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
