Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
