Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Operation Purity has been aborted
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
