He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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