People in love make me want to vomit
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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