my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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