i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
