my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
