A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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