PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
