6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
