you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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