I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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