thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
