please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
