today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
