Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
