i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
