I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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