was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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