We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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