you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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