how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
