in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
