I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
