how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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