This show inspires me to have sex in space
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You're like the curious george of whores
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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