We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
