u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
