shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
