Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
