the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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