I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
