I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
