Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
