belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
